Full Moon Read online

  Rachel Hawthorne

  Full Moon

  A Dark Guardian Novel

  For Brandon,

  paranormal advisor extraordinaire.

  Thanks for all the breakfast brainstorming sessions

  and letting me bounce various scenarios off you.

  You’re terrific! Love, Mom

  Contents

  Prologue

  The full moon has become my enemy.

  One

  Supposedly, dreams reflect our hidden fears and secret desires, all…

  Two

  Unlike Kayla, I had attended many summer solstice celebrations. They…

  Three

  As the wind whipped my white-blond hair, which flowed like…

  Four

  Much to my astonishment, the landing wasn’t nearly as painful…

  Five

  When we got back to Wolford, Rafe swiped an electronic…

  Six

  The national forest is a little over five million acres…

  Seven

  Everyone at our table went eerily still, the way a…

  Eight

  We trekked for two more days, leading the girls farther…

  Nine

  It was nearly dark the next night when we finally…

  Ten

  Connor hadn’t put his shirt back on because he’d draped…

  Eleven

  It’s not easy to sneak out of your cabin when…

  Twelve

  The next morning, I awoke to find myself still snuggled…

  Thirteen

  Connor fell asleep. I was pretty sure that Lucas and…

  Fourteen

  To say they’d trashed the place was an understatement. Clothes…

  Fifteen

  The following night, while I watched over Mason’s encampment from…

  Sixteen

  I kept opening and closing my eyes. And each time…

  Seventeen

  “Your dad and I will be here when you get…

  Eighteen

  They clashed, they snarled, they bared their teeth. They weren’t…

  Nineteen

  I can’t explain what it’s like to take another form.

  Other Books by Rachel Hawthorne

  Credits

  Copyright

  About the Publisher

  PROLOGUE

  The full moon has become my enemy.

  I’m in a cavern, preparing myself for the most important night of my life. A few days earlier I had turned seventeen. Tonight a full moon will grace the sky. As I stand beneath it, the moonlight will wash over me and I—Lindsey Lancaster—will transform….

  Into a wolf.

  I’m a Shifter, a species of beings who for thousands of years have possessed the ability to shift from human to animal form. My clan’s destined animal is the wolf.

  For as long as I can remember I’ve been anxiously awaiting this night, but for the past few weeks I’ve been dreading its arrival, because things suddenly became very confusing and complicated. My feelings, my emotions—they were all over the place. My heart was telling me one thing, my head another.

  Connor and I have been best friends forever. Our families always hang out together in the outside world, where we all pretend that we don’t have this amazing ability, where we pretend we’re like the Statics, those who can’t morph into another shape. Our parents are convinced that Connor and I are destined for each other.

  Sometimes I fear that Connor and I got caught up in their dreams for us and decided those dreams were ours, too. One night, in front of everyone, Connor declared me his mate. I was thrilled that he held such intense feelings for me, because I thought I felt the same for him. Our families celebrated. In the tradition of our kind, he had my name tattooed in a Celtic symbol on his left shoulder—our equivalent of getting engaged. Our fate was sealed.

  But then Rafe returned home this summer after a year away at college, and I began to notice him in ways I never had before. When he speaks, his deep voice is laced with a little bit of a rasp—so sexy. He doesn’t talk often, except when he has something important to say, and when he does, my toes tingle. His dark eyes have the ability to hold me captive, to make my heart beat like thunder. And when he drops that dangerous gaze to my lips, I want to melt into his arms and pull his mouth down to mine for a taste of the forbidden.

  He possesses a wild streak, prefers to live life on the edge. He’s the big, bad wolf—pardon the pun. And something in him calls to the wildness in me…but it’s a call I can’t answer.

  Connor is my destiny.

  Two years older than I am, he’s already gone through his transformation. Tonight he’ll lead me through mine. I force myself to concentrate on Connor: his blond hair, his blue eyes, his crooked grin that always makes me smile. He’s waiting for me now, waiting to share the most important night of my life. He’ll hold me, guide me through the transition, and ensure that I survive. We’ll bond deeply and forever as we go through this experience together. That’s what is supposed to happen, anyway.

  I study my reflection in the mirror. My eyes are hazel, although the color tends to shift with my mood. Tonight they look somehow more blue than green or brown. They’re sad when they should be filled with excitement at this moment, the kind of anticipation a girl feels right before the prom.

  My white-blond hair hangs loosely around my shoulders. The white velvet robe I’m wearing caresses my bare skin, and nervousness descends as I realize that soon it will be the moonlight touching me—the moonlight and Connor.

  I turn from the mirror and walk to the entrance of the cavern, where a cascading waterfall hides our lair from those who don’t know of its—of our—existence. I slip out from behind the curtain of water and circle the still pool that will soon reflect the rising moon.

  I spy Connor waiting patiently for my arrival. Wearing a black robe, he holds out his hand, and I place my palm against his. His fingers—so long, so sure, so steady—close around mine, which suddenly seem too delicate and fragile for what is about to happen. As though sensing my apprehension, he draws me near. The familiarity of him gives me solace. He’s the one. He’s always been the one.

  Leaning in, he brushes his lips over mine. My heart stutters with the enormity of what we’re about to do.

  Holding my hand, he leads me toward the clearing, toward the waiting moon, toward forever as his mate.

  And I just hope that I haven’t made the wrong choice. Otherwise, I’m walking straight into the single biggest mistake of my life.

  ONE

  Supposedly, dreams reflect our hidden fears and secret desires, all clamoring for attention. The one I’d had last night had been so vivid that even now, as evening drew near, it still made me squirm in my chair. I sat against a wall in the counsel room where the elders and the Dark Guardians—protectors of our society—were discussing how best to ensure our survival. Because I hadn’t yet experienced my first transformation, I was considered a novice and was not allowed to sit at the large, round table with the others. This was okay by me, because it gave me the freedom to let my mind wander—without anyone noticing that I wasn’t paying attention.

  In my dream, I’d been standing in a clearing with my declared mate, Connor, our arms wrapped around each other so tightly that we could barely breathe. The full moon served as a spotlight.

  Then dark clouds drifted over the moon, and everything went black. Still holding him near, I was acutely aware of the muscles and bones in his body undulating against me. He grew taller and broader. My fingers were in his hair, and I felt the strands thicken and lengthen. His mouth covered mine, but his lips were fuller than before. The kiss was hungrier than any he’d ever given me. It heated me from head to toe, and I thought I knew what it was to be
a candle, melting from the scorching flame. I knew I should move away, but I clung to him as though I’d drown in a sea of doubts if I let go.

  The hovering clouds floated away, and the moonlight illuminated us once again—only I was no longer in Connor’s arms. Instead I was pressing my body against Rafe’s, kissing him, yearning for his touch….

  I shifted uncomfortably in my chair with the memory of how desperately I’d wanted Rafe. It was Connor I was supposed to long for. But I’d woken up in a tangle of sheets, clamoring for another of Rafe’s touches—even if it were only in a dream.

  Squirming again, I felt a sharp elbow in my ribs.

  “Be still, will you?” Brittany Reed whispered harshly beside me. Like me, she would soon be turning seventeen and would experience her first transformation with the next full moon.

  I’d known Brittany since kindergarten. We were friends, but I’d never felt as close to her as I did to Kayla—whom I’d met only last summer, when her adoptive parents had brought her to the park to face her past. We’d connected on a deep level almost as soon as we met. We’d spent the past year sharing our lives through emails, text messages, and phone calls.

  During the last full moon she’d discovered that she was one of us and that Lucas Wilde was her destined mate. I can’t imagine how frightening it would be to have so little time to prepare. We Shifters can’t control the first transformation. When the full moon rises, our bodies react to its call. But now Kayla sat at the table with the others.

  The summer solstice, the longest day of the year, is usually a time when as many of our kind as possible come together to celebrate our existence. But this year a pall hung over us as we gathered at Wolford, a village hidden deep within a huge national forest near the Canadian border. All that remained there of what had once been a vibrant community were a few small buildings and the massive, mansionlike structure that serves as the home of the elders who rule over us. The residence also houses most of us when we’re here for the solstice celebration.

  We’ve always been a secret society. Even though we have lived among the rest of the world, we show our true selves only to each other. But recently, we discovered that Lucas’s older brother had betrayed us by telling someone in the outside world about our existence. Now some scientists who work for a medical research company called Bio-Chrome were determined to capture us and discover what makes us tick—or more important, what makes us transform. They wanted to patent this ability, develop it, and use it for their own financial gain. But being dissected and studied wasn’t how any of us wanted to spend our summer vacation.

  Although we hadn’t seen any signs of Bio-Chrome scientists since Lucas and Kayla had escaped from their clutches, none of us believed they’d given up their quest so easily. We were all on edge because we could sense an impending confrontation—the way animals sense a coming storm. Nature had made us attuned to danger. It was the reason we hadn’t gone the way of the dinosaur.

  Brittany was right. I needed to keep calm. I had to stop thinking about that crazy dream and pay more attention to the discussion at the table. Unfortunately as my gaze wandered around the group, it slammed into Rafe’s. He was watching me with an intensity that made me think he knew about my unsettling dream. His dark eyes held a challenge, dared me not to look away, tempted me to risk getting caught staring at him instead of concentrating on protecting us from Bio-Chrome. At that particular moment, though, I didn’t believe any scientist was more dangerous to me than Rafe.

  He studied me with single-minded purpose. I could almost feel the touch of his gaze on my skin. I knew I should look away, but I didn’t want to lose this powerful connection. I’d never felt anything quite this intense before. The edges of my vision blurred; the words being spoken came to me distorted, as though I were underwater. My heart was speeding up one second, slowing down the next—it was as confused as I was. I wanted to stand up and walk over to him. I wanted to run from the room.

  Rafe never talked much during these sessions—but then, he never spoke much at all. He was Lucas’s second in command, more about actions than words. He always looked as though he’d forgotten to shave that morning, with just the barest hint of sexy stubble on his chin. His thick, straight hair brushed along his shoulders and was the black of a moonless night, nearly matching eyes the shade of hot fudge. When he transformed, he was gorgeous…and lethal.

  Last summer I’d seen him take out a cougar when we’d been scouting an area before taking some campers there. The cougar had attacked, Rafe had shifted, and I’d seen firsthand what our kind is capable of when threatened. We are aggressive and deadly.

  Even in human form, Rafe terrified me with all the unleashed power I felt emanating from him. I didn’t know why he’d only recently started drawing my attention—although draw was too tame a word. I couldn’t go five seconds without thinking about him, without looking around to see where he was. I was curious about him in ways I’d never been about any other guy, not even Connor. I wanted to know the kinds of movies he enjoyed and what books he read. I wanted to listen to his iPod playlist and discover his favorite music. But most of all I wanted to know what it felt like to have him wrap his arms around me the way he had in the dream. I wanted to experience the heat of his kiss.

  “Only about two more weeks and we get to play with the big boys,” Brittany whispered, breaking the spell Rafe held over me and igniting a spark of guilt within. Had she noticed where my attention had been drawn, which “big boy” held me enthralled? Or had she been searching the table, too, hoping to catch someone’s attention? Legend had it that a girl couldn’t survive the first transformation if she went through it alone.

  “Aren’t you scared?” I asked. “I mean, since no one has declared you yet.” As soon as I said it, I was shocked at myself. Brittany was probably worrying plenty about it without a harsh reminder from me.

  But she just rolled her deep blue eyes and tossed her head, flicking the thick braid of coal-black hair over her shoulder. “That is so medieval. I shouldn’t have to wait for a guy to get off his butt and approach me. If he’s the one I want, I should be able to ask him. Nothing wrong with being a little alpha-female. This is the twenty-first century, after all.”

  “So who would you ask—if it were allowed?”

  She hesitated, and for a brief second I thought she was going to give me a name, but then she just shrugged as though she hadn’t made up her mind. “Someone my parents didn’t shove down my throat.”

  Ouch! I knew she was referring to how my parents and Connor’s had sort of pushed us together. “My parents didn’t choose Connor.”

  “Get real. Family vacations, gymnastics, birthday parties—your family had you doing everything together from the time you were born.”

  I couldn’t argue with the truth. Connor had always been there for all the big moments of my life. I had photographs of Connor and me dropping through the Tower of Terror at Disney World, boogie boarding in the Hawaii surf, skiing the backwoods in Aspen…. The list went on. We’d spent many a summer screaming and laughing as we rode the daredevil rides and enjoyed the local attractions wherever our parents took us for vacation. I remembered how lonely I’d been on vacation when I was fifteen and he’d spent his first summer and winter break working in the national forest as a sherpa—our name for those who guide campers into the heart of the wilderness and ensure they come nowhere near our hidden sites. The next summer I’d applied for the sherpa program.

  “We always had fun together,” I told Brittany now. “We’re compatible.”

  “Compatible? Makes it sound like you’re picking out shoes to wear with a new skirt. Accepting your mate is probably the single most important decision you’ll ever make in your life.”

  “Why are you questioning my choice?” And making me question my choice in the process, I thought. Or was it the dream creating these stupid doubts?

  “Because it’s not fair to Connor if you don’t truly love him.”

  “And how is any of this
your business?” I retorted. Her mouth straightened into a flat line. She’d been hassling me about my relationship with Connor since summer began, insinuating that I wasn’t a good girlfriend. “Oh my God. Are you in love with him?”

  Before she could answer—assuming she would have done so—Lucas Wilde, our pack leader, twisted around from his place at the table and glared at us. Silently chastised, I pressed my lips together, gave him a nod, and finally concentrated on what was being discussed at the table. After our transformations, Brittany and I would bring the number of Dark Guardians to twelve. But Kayla, Lucas, Connor, Rafe, Brittany, and I were a sherpa team. We worked together to take campers into the wilderness. Serving as guides was how we’d met the Bio-Chrome group and become aware of its true purpose.

  “I don’t see that there’s much we can do at this point,” Connor was saying, and I experienced a prickle of pride that he wasn’t afraid to speak up to the three elders who sat together, forming a chain of wisdom and history. “Dr. Keane and his team left the forest two weeks ago. Maybe they’ve given up their search for us by now.”

  Dr. Keane was the lead scientist at Bio-Chrome and one of the masterminds behind the plan to study us. The other was his son, Mason.

  “But they’re probably just regrouping. I wouldn’t be surprised if they show up again any day now,” Lucas said.

  “I agree,” Kayla said.

  Lucas gave her a warm smile and, out of sight of the elders, took her hand beneath the table. With her red hair flowing around her shoulders, she would have stood out anyway, but the way she glowed with Lucas’s attention made her stunning.

  “Believe me, Mason is obsessed with capturing one of us and discovering the key to our ability to transform. They’re going to come back, so we need to be ready,” she continued. “He’s not going to give up.”